On The Edge Of Safe
by SammiThatsMe
Summary: Broken up and left in a Safe Friendship. Ashley decides to risk Safety she has now for the love of a lifetime. SpangsSpashley. Will be sex scenes. comments plz? : I OWN NOTHING.
1. Back In Your Head

**Disclaimer:** _**i do NOT own...just having some fun x..the music is not mine either it belongs to tegan and sara...gawd these things really like to rub it in your face eh?**_

_**so yeah this is my first...so comments and stuff would make me very happy and you just know you wanna make me happy. lol...if its shit i understand but tell me so i know not to bother no more :). ok this will have spangs and spashley. you gotta read it to find out which one wins int he end lol its not that long but tell me weither i should carry on and ill give y'all a nice long one :)**_

**i just want back in you head.**

After 2 weeks of trying to deal with Spencer dating someone who wasn't her, Ashley decided she wasn't gonna take it. she tryed being the best friend and understanding that Spencer had the right to move on. but no it never worked. so she was gonna take back what was rightfully hers. no more fake smiles as she watched the love of her life run around with some whore who couldn't even almost love Spencer as much as she did! it was 11pm and she just happened to know everyone in the Paula and the rest of the family were away visiting family in new york for the week but Spencer stayed home as she was ''unwell'' as if thats believable, Spencer had been out with bangs everynight so far but not tonight, even if bangs was with Spencer, ashley just didn't care anymore, shes not gonna make a secret of the fact she wants no wait she will get the love of her life back. so with that thought in her head she packed up all she needed in her car and made her way to the Carlin house.

Once she got there she phoned Spencer on the phone ''hey spence come to your window'' suddenly her widow opened and there she was, the most beautiful girl in the whole world. her hair ras curly and she was weating a tiny vest top. ''hey Ash whats going on?'' but when Spencer looked out the window there was nothing but a CD player, as if by magic the music just started playing and she got a text on her phone ''just listen to the words babe x i love you x'' so she did as she was told.

_''Build a wall of books_

_Between us in our bed_

_Repeat, repeat the words_

_That I know we both said_

_Relax into the need_

_We get so comfortable_

_Remember when I was_

_So strange and likeable_

although she was confused about what exactly was going on Spencer still got butterflies everytime Ashley told her she loved her. as she listened to the words of the song she felt like her heart was gonna burst, this couldn't mean what she think could it? Ashley wasn't trying to...no she wouldn't, she knows her relationship status

_I just want back in your head_

_I just want back in your head_

_I'm not unfaithful_

_But I'll stray_

_When I get a little scared_

_When I get a little scared_

_When I get a little_

suddenly she felt someones arms wrapped round her waist, but she already knew who it was. she would know that touch nomatter what, its her dream girl, it was Ashley. ''Ash...'' she smiled as she turned round ''SHHH just listen'' Ashley whispered in her ear as she started to sing along quietly looking Spencer in the eyes the whole time.

_When I jerk away from_

_Holding hands with you_

_I know these habits hurt_

_Important parts of you_

_Remember when I was_

_Sweet and unexplainable_

_Nothing like this person,_

_Unlovable_

Ashley knew it wasn't the most romantic song she could have picked but it was honest. it was how she felt. being inlove with Spencer scared her which caused her to push the beautiful blonde away, ever since she lost Spencer all shes felt was awful, so awful she as unlovable.

_I just want back in your head_

_I just want back in your head_

_I'm not unfaithful_

_But I'll stray_

_When I get a little scared_

_When I get a little scared_

_When I get a little scared_

_When I get a little_

Spencer couldn't believe what was happening but she sure as hell wasn't gonna stop it. she couldn't take her eyes off the sexy girl singing to her, her voice was so soft and beautiful.

_Run, run, run Run Run , run, run_

_Run I just want back in your head_

_I just want back in your head_

_I'm not unfaithful_

_But I'll stray_

_When I get a little scared''_

As the song finished Ashley smiled ''thats all i want. i want back in your head. i wanna be the girl you call yours. i know i fucked up. i got scared of how i felt about you and i hurt you but if you'll let me i want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you'' Spencer was speachless. Ashley had her heart and it was never gonna change, but getting back with her would be such a risk, a rick of getting hurt, if she pushed her away once she would do it again...

wouldn't she??


	2. Where Dose The Good Go?

Disclaimer: ok i dont own anything. im writting just hoping maybe one day this will all really happen :) ha ha, the songs arent mine either but alot of tegan and sara's song make me think of spashley so hence why im using alot of them. lol but yeh, writting just for fun.

Thanx for the comments, means alot to me. Keep them up cause it makes me wanna write more knowing your enjoying it lol xxx

**Where Does All The Good Go?**

Taking Ashleys hand ''listen Ash what we had was so amazing, i was inlove with you. i wanted to be with you forever but you hurt me so bad, i couldnt bare to go through that again, im with carmen now...'' suddenly she was stopped mid sentence by the the softest lips she had ever felt pressed against hers. she knew she should have stopped this. she couldnt, she wanted it just as much maybe more than Ashley. ''WHATS GOING ON HERE?'' a voice from Spencers door shouted, it was so loud both girls jumped as if a bomb just hit the ground. ''this is so not what you might think it was...i was...Ash was...we were...oh crap'' Spencer walked over and sat on her bed, cupping her head in her hands as if it will make everyone go away, with a smug smile on her face Ashley walked over to Carmen ''actually it was what it looked like, we were kissing, well i kissed her and yeah i will do it again.'' pushing Ashley as hard as she could she walked over to Spencer who was still hiding herself in her on little cave she had made with her hands ''is she who you want? do you want to be with her?' Carmen yelled you could see in her face she was getting overcome with anger.

Ashely stood in silence waiting to see what answer Spencer would give. hoping and praying she would tell that loser where to go but no such luck, Spencer stood up and hugged bangs. ''please calm down please, so we can talk'' without even looking at Ashley, she said the words that made the dark haired girls heart ache ''Ash would you please leave me alone ok...just go'' ''what you cant be for real? Spence..'' but before she could even try, Spencer gave her a look. it was like nothing she'd ever seen before, such anger in her eyes. all directed to her. ''ok ill go but im NOT giving up ok, im inlove with you spence, i need you'' and with that said she walked out.

As soon as she got to the bottom of the stairs she could hear the couple shouting, well thats a lie she could hear bangs SCREAMING at the love of her life, yeah she felt bad but she knew in the long run Spencer would be hers, she had to be or life would be meaningless. sitting in her car, she just could drive away, so she put the radio on but once the music started playing she realised that might not havebeen the best idea cause all that did was remind her of her feelings, how life had been for her since she lost the girl of her dreams. the moments she thought she would die of happiness than of saddness.

listening to words, her head was full of memories, flash backs, it felt like she was back there, in the moment.

_''Where do you go with your broken heart in tow  
What do you do with the left over you  
And how do you know, when to let go  
Where does the good go, where does the good go_

**''Ashley i think me and carmen are gonna be spending more time togeather'' Spencer said trying to put things as nicely as she could, not wanting to hurt her bestfriend ''oh... well thats cool, i mean its been me and you for so long but i can deal with that'' grabbing Ashleys hand ''no Ash i mean...alone. she really likes me and i like her, i just wanted to tell you so there was no akwardness'' **

''Awkward? thats no the word. shes dating a complete loser, bitch, slut..grr just every words to describe someone whos..well BAD. yeah i know so mature but its true theres something not right with bangs and i cant put my finger on it yet but i will!'' Ashley realised she was pretty much talking to herself. she should have said this to Spencer back then.

_Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive  
Look me in the heart and tell me you won't go  
Look me in the eye and promise no love's like our love  
Look me in the heart and unbreak broken, it won't happen_

funny thing was, even after Spencer had started dating that thing. there had still been those moments, ya know the ones where you were so sure something big was gonna happen, a kiss, a touch but nothing ever did. but we would have those. many times or the off the hand flirty comments that both girls didnt even mean to say but they came out anyways. ''part of her must have still wanted me, maybe even a small part? could she actually look me in the eyes and tell me she didnt want me? she never had done so to speak''

_It's love that leaves and breaks the seal of always thinking you would be  
Real, happy and healthy, strong and calm, where does the good go  
Where does the good go_

**''i just dont get it! how can he be so awful to do that! its horriable.'' Ashley complained hiding the tears in her eyes, ''dont worry babe, he'll get whats coming to him ok, i promise'' wrapping her arms round the saddened girl and kissing her lightly on the cheek ''but spence it doesnt change the fact that his dads dead now!'' wasnt til after she said that she realised she pratically just yelled at spencer, ''ok thats it'' spencer laughed standing up and turning the tv off ''no more lion king for you, you get crazy'' it was rather shocking to see that side of Ashley. she had always been the tough girl. ''im sorry im sorry'' Ashley laughed now realising how stupid she was being, Spencer laughed and sat next to her ''im really shocked to be honest what happened to big tough ashley davies?'' she smiled ''i dunno i just feel like i can be completely open with you. i can just be myself'' both girls smiled and kissed. it was another perfect night.**

''god i cant take this i need to know whats going on in there, whats being said and who by'' Ashley thoguht about going back, just punching bangs in her smug face and pushing her out the house, if only she could get rid of her, she was no good for Spencer, there had been such a change in the way Spencer acted, her actions, attitude all caused by bangs! Ashley was talking to herself as if there was someone there listening ''i even caught her smoking once, wasnt like her, she didnt like smoking she thought it was stupid waste of money and time not to mention her health, she didnt wanna fuck it up int he long run but no this all changed once that brat came walking into both out lifes'' laying her head on the steering wheel like it was a pillow, Ashley let herself get lost back in those memories the worst ones, it was this damn song, she loved it but it hit to close to home for her.

_Where do you go when you're in love and the world knows  
How do you live so happily while I am sad and broken down  
What do you say it's up for grabs now that you're on your way down  
Where does the good go, where does the good go''_

**''hey Ash...not seen you in days. not that its completely bad but believe it or not Carmen annoys me more than you so where ya been??'' Glen smiled walking over to ash who was standing at her locker ''Spencer has a new girlfriend, they need to spend alone time togeather ya know'' grabbing stuff from her locker, stuff she didnt ned but she couldnt look Glen in the eyes when her eyes were bout to burst into floods of tears, ''ah shit im sorry, i never realised, i thought they were just friends. Spencer never tells me stuff like that'' Ashley just laughed at what Glen had just said ''hmm i wonder why? couldnt be anything to do with you being a complete homphobic asshole?'' Ashley never ment for it to come out as bitchy as it did ''well least now that explains all the werid giggles and all that comoing from her room most nights which freaks me out when you think about it and now i realise what they've been up to'' he said almost yelling at her and walking off, ''what was that about?'' Kyla asked walking up behind Ashley. ''nothing'' the broken girl signed slowly walking to class ''ah let me guess, Spencer and her new...'' but she was cut off ''YEAH'' Ashley snapped she didnt wanna hear people keep reminding her that bangs was Spencers girlfriend, that it was offical. ''Ash..she still loves you and its way to obv. that you still love her, so why are you doing this to each other?'' Ashley just walked away. she had no answer for that.**

''ok...i cant stay here all night, well i could but what if bangs doesnt leave. then im left with more thoughts about what both of them are doing...togeather. what if they're making up, in the most coupley way possiable, ok god ok thats not worth thinking about'' Ashley was driving herself mad but she had to start thinking about what she was gonna do next, what her next move would be to winning back the heart of the girl who she wanted to marry. who she wanted to start a family with and spend forever with, the woman she wanted to grow old with.


End file.
